i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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