I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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