Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
