Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize