My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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