I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
