i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just puked most of my soul out..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
