i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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