I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
