i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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