He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
