I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
