Say something about gay babies.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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