So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
