Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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