her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
