my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
