I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
