Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
