we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
