The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
