How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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