do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
