youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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