So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
