he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize