I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
