There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
