oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
