Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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