I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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