I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
