I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She told me I should be a condom model.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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