I CAN MOONWALK!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
