then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
