For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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