I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
