ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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