So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw a hot homeless man
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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