is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
