and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize