That's intense
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
