that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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