I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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