If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
