she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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