What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
