I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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