I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
