I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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