before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize