What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
