We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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