life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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