my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
