I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
