It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
