you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
