why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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