I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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