no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
