It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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