The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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