He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
