he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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