I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
