We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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