If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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